


Heartbeat

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Sara starts to sleepwalk and Grissom makes her work through it. Along the way his feelings come out showing her that another road is available.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	Heartbeat

Nick sat in the break room eating an apple at the table looking at some magazine when I walked in to the coffee pot.

"Hey Sara." He said

I said nothing as I poured a cup then I walked out into the hallway. Nick watched me go then he shrugged his shoulders. Grissom saw me walking past him stone faced holding a cup of coffee.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked, watching me go past him to his office door. I knocked as he watched me go in shutting the door. He walked over opening the door seeing me lying on the couch sleeping as the cup of coffee rested on the floor. He shut the door confused as he walked over touching my arm. "Sara?"

I slowly moved jumping as I sat up seeing him.

"Grissom, what are you doing in my bedroom?"

He knelt down looking at me.

"Your not in your bedroom. You are in my office."

I looked around confused then I looked at him.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah, I just…remember being in bed and then….this."

"Are you stressed about anything?"

"No, I don't think so." I said, running a hand through my hair.

"Sleepwalking can happen when you are stressed, depressed, or it can be a side effect with medication." He said

"You sound like a commercial." I said, getting up "I guess I should go to work."

"Your coffee." He said, handing me the cup. I looked at it then I looked at him.

"Did I?"

"Yes." He said, still concerned.

I sighed walking out of the room. The next shift I knocked on Grissoms door. He walked over opening it seeing me stone faced again.

"Sara?"

I walked past him putting my cup of coffee down and laid back on the sofa. He left the door open watching me. Again when he woke me I was shocked that I was there instead of my room at home. I started to wonder if I was stressed.

Grissom walked to the morgue to see Doctor Robbins. The older man was working on a body when Grissom came in.

"Hey Gil, can I help you?"

"I hope so I am here for a professional opinion." He said

Robbins looked at him as he got ready to cut into the chest of the man lying between them.

"Shoot."

"The symptom is sleepwalking." Grissom said

"Hmm, how many times has this been happening?"

"Everyday."

"Really?" He asked

"Yes, when woken there is confusion and shock. No memory of how they came here."

Robbins stopped looking at Grissom.

"Stress?"

"I thought so, but I don't think so now."

"Medication?"

"Could be however I think it's more like depression."

"Have you considered a counselor, or a hypnotist?"

"Yes."

"Seems to me that something is locked away. If something doesn't happen soon this person could get hurt or worse."

Grissom nodded looking at the body.

"Thank's Al."

"No problem."

Grissom walked into the room I was in working on a case. I looked over at him standing by the table.

"Sara, I think you should see someone about this sleepwalking."

"I told you I am fine." I said, getting back to work.

"I think something is wrong."

"Fine, I will go see a counselor."

"When?"

"I don't know."

"I'll make an appointment tomorrow at four with a friend of mine."

"I will be late to work."

"Whatever needs to be done." He said, leaving.

The next day I sat before the friend of Grissom's at her office.

"Tell me what you dream about?" She asked

"My parents."

"What are they doing in the dream?"

"Ah they are together on the couch watching TV."

"Then what happens?"

"Nothing." I said

"Close your eyes."

"Why?" I asked, uneasy.

"I will not do anything to harm you, just close your eyes."

I sighed closing them.

"Now go back to that dream. You see your parents together on the couch watching TV then what happened."

"Nothing they are just sitting there."

"You can open your eyes." She said

I opened my eyes watching her.

"Sara, I want to hypnotize you."

I stood nervously.

"No, I don't want to."

"Why are you afraid?"

"I can't." I said

"Sara, if you are uncomfortable then we will stop, but I think there is more to see. You are repressing something and if we don't get to it then you will continue to sleepwalk."

Sighing I knew she was right.

"Okay." I said, sitting down.

"Now just relax and sit back in the chair."

I sat back looking at her. She moved her chair closer touching my hands in my lap.

"Stop being afraid nothing will harm you."

I nodded taking a breath.

"Close your eyes," She said "and take a long relaxing breath."

I did as she said.

"You are feeling relaxed and nothing can hurt you. Take another deep breath and let all your troubles float away."

I started to relax as she silently watched me.

"You feel so relaxed and you want to sleep. Your head feels heavy and all you want to do is sleep. All your troubles are gone and you want to sleep."

She watched me relax more.

"You want to rest your head and sleep."

My head went back to rest on the chair.

"You are in a deep sleep and nothing can hurt you."

She watched me breathing slowly.

"Sara, you are seeing your parents on the couch watching TV in your dream. Tell me what happened next."

"Their watching TV and then….I see them fighting." I said

"What are they fighting about?"

"My brother, he was caught smoking again."

"Then what happened."

She watched me move my head.

"Nothing can hurt you."

"I…see my dad….he is on the couch."

"What is he doing?"

"He's dead."

"What else happens?"

"My mother…is standing by the couch with his blood on her and she is laughing."

"What then?"

"Grissom is kissing me."

"Is that happening next?"

"Yes, we are in my bed. He…is kissing me all over."

"Sara?" She said

"I love you to."

"Sara, you are waking up. When you wake you will feel refreshed. One: you are coming out of your deep sleep. You feel great and you are ready to wake up. Two: you are waking up feeling great and the dream is not bothering you. Three: you are awake."

She watched me look at her then around the room.

"You did very well, Sara."

"It worked?"

"Yes, let's set up another time to see each other."

Grissom saw his friend Jane walk into his office closing the door.

"How was the session?" He asked, as she sat down.

"Good, she was very responsive."

"Great."

"Gil there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" He said, looking at her.

"She mentioned you a few times in a romantic sense."

"Really?"

"Yes, I know you are not together, but she seems to like you."

"I know."

"Are you two involved?"

"No."

"Hmm."

She winked at him standing.

"One other thing, something in her past is troubling her. Maybe you could talk to her about it."

"Thank's." he said, watching her leave.

I sipped some coffee coming out of the break room when Grissom came over to me.

"Hey." He said

"Hey."

"Um could we talk?"

"About what?"

"You."

"Okay." I said

He led me to his office closing the door.

"Sara, I wanted to know…how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Well what I mean is….Jane told me that something happened in your past and I wondered if you want to talk about it."

"No, I don't."

"It might help."

"No."

"All right."

I left feeling weird.

Coming out of the building I saw Grissom looking at a paper standing on the curb. I walked past him to get to my car.

"Sara?"

"Great." I said, under my breath turning to look at him. He walked over holding the paper in his other hand.

"Going Home?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to have dinner?"

"Dinner?" I asked "Ah well I am tired."

"I understand." He said, walking away.

I watched him go feeling weird again. He unlocked his car door seeing me run over to him.

"Grissom, I am sorry for turning you down."

"I told you I understand."

"I know, but I should want to and I do."

"Sara, you are not ready yet." He said

"No, I am."

"No, your not."

"Was that a test question?"

"You could call it that."

I watched him open his door looking at me.

"You will be soon."

He got into his car pulling out as I watched him go.

Jane sat with in front of me again the next week. I laid back in a deep sleep as she asked me questions.

"Sara, tell me about your parents."

"My mom was cleaning the kitchen a lot…I came down and she would scream at me to not walk on the floor she just scrubbed. Dad…was her opposite. He laid down a lot and took naps."

"Tell me about the dream. Your dad is dead on the couch."

"Mom held the knife in her hands….she told me she had to do it. They took her away then a woman came taking me to her car. There was blood all over the place."

"How old where you?"

"Ten."

She sighed rubbing her cheek as she looked at me.

"Where is Grissom?" I asked

"Grissom?"

"He was here a minute ago."

"Sara, what is Grissom to you?"

"He's…safe….my protector."

Grissom picked up his cell phone as he walked into the hallway.

"Grissom."

"Gil, we have to talk." Jane said

"Okay." He said, going into his office closing the door. "Go ahead."

"Gil, Sara has had a rough childhood. She has blocked it out for a good reason, but something interesting has come out of this."

"What is that?" He asked, sitting down at his desk.

"Every time we get into anything she goes back to you. She told me today that you are her protector."

"Hmm." He said, sitting back.

I yawned as I came out of the locker room bumping into Grissom.

"Sorry." I said

"No, it's my fault." He said, going past me into the locker room. I followed him in watching as he opened his locker.

"Grissom, do you want to eat?"

He looked at me shaking his head.

"Your not ready."

"I am."

He shut his locker sighing walking over to me.

"Sara, I don't want to hurry this."

"Hurry what?"

"If you were ready you would know. As it is you think you are, but you are having doubts."

"I just said I was ready."

"Honey, you are not ready. This is not the right time. We will both know when that time is."

He walked past me out the door. I stayed there thinking.

The team met in the conference room eating going over the case. I listened to the others as I looked at Grissom at the end of the table. He talked to the others listening then he looked at me a moment before nodding at something Greg said.

"Sara, what do you think?" Catherine asked me

I blinked looking around seeing everyone looking at me.

"Um sure that sounds good." I said

"What does Sara?" Grissom asked

I looked at all of them again.

"Ah whatever Catherine said."

He sat up in his chair.

"Let's get back to work. Sara, I want to talk to you."

The others got up giving me a pity look as Grissom looked at me.

"Sara, I won't ask you what is wrong because I know you won't tell me. I will however say that when we do these meetings it is important to pay attention and give insight with the case."

"I know." I said, looking down.

"Next time pay attention." He said, standing.

I nodded as he walked out leaving me.

He and I didn't talk after that until the next week when we walked to a hotel on the strip. The scene was up on the twelve floor. Grissom and I got in the elevator as he pressed the button. I took a breath feeling claustrophobic as the doors closed. Grissom looked up watching the numbers change as I glanced at him then down at the floor. Suddenly the elevator stopped abruptly making us unsteady on our feet for a second.

Grissom pressed another button as the lights dimmed.

"We are stuck."

"Great." I said

He got his cell phone out as I sat on the floor next to my case.

"Hi Jim, we are stuck on the elevator halfway between the eighth and ninth floor."

As he talked I closed my eyes hugging my knees trying not to panic. Grissom hung up the phone sighing as he looked at the buttons again.

"Jim is contacting the management." He said, turning looking at me. "Sara, are you okay?"

"I…should have….mentioned this…before." I said, as I tried to breathe.

"What?"

"I am…claustrophobic."

He moved sitting down in front of me putting his hands on my knees.

"Nothing bad is going to happen to us. There is a lot of air in here just relax and breath slowly."

I tried closing my eyes as he watched me.

"It's going to be okay."

I nodded trying to relax.

His cell phone went off as he looked down grabbing it.

"Grissom." He said, looking at me. "Tell them to hurry!"

"What's…wrong?" I asked, as he hung up the phone.

"It might be awhile."

"I…can't….breathe!" I said, hyperventilating.

He moved to sit beside me pulling me against him.

"Listen to my heart beat Sara. Its calm, try to match my heartbeat."

"I can't!"

"Yes, you can."

I listened to his heartbeat trying to breathe and it soon worked. He smoothed my hair listening to the air conditioning run. He put his head against mine. I clutched his coat taking a breath a few minutes later.

"You okay?" He asked, against my head.

"Yes, I just hope they hurry."

"They will." He said

I closed my eyes as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I wish I had you near me when I was growing up." I said

"Why?"

"I always wanted a safe place."

"Isn't that what parents are? They protect you."

"Not my parents. My dad maybe, but not my mom."

"Did something happen to you?"

I moved closer to him placing my face on his chest.

"When I was ten my mother….killed my dad."

"I'm sorry." He said

"I was at school and I come home there are police cars everywhere. I come up the stairs and my mother walks out screaming as she sees me. I went into the house and saw my dad lying on the couch with blood all over him."

He sighed touching my hair again.

"I've been dreaming of that day a lot."

"Perhaps it's time to lay it to rest."

"I just wish I could have stopped it."

"You were only ten."

"I know, but I wish I could have done something."

"You regret it."

"My dad may have been lazy, but he was a wonderful man and my mom just ripped that away."

"My dad died when I was young."

I lifted my head looking at him.

"I was watching TV and my dad came home to lay on the couch. He never got back up."

"Oh."

He touched my cheek sliding his hand down.

"Sara, we can't change what we have lost no matter how much we want to. Obsessing over it will only harm your health. You need to let it go."

I sighed nodding slowly. He let his finger graze my lips as he watched it glide over my soft skin. I leaned in slowly as he did catching my lips with his. He put his hands on my head gently holding me in place. He moved back opening his eyes looking into mine.

"So does this mean that I am ready?" I asked, looking at his lips.

"I think you are almost there." He said

I leaned in kissing him again as the elevator started up again. The lights came back on as we quickly stood up getting our cases as the door opened seeing Brass.

"Where is the room?" Grissom asked, in control again.

Brass smiled leading us away. We worked for a few hours then got back to the Tahoe parked on the street. Grissom and I got into the car. I looked at Grissom as he started the engine.

He looked at me then he drove out into traffic. We were driving along in silence as I kept looking at his hand on his lap wanting to hold it. He glanced at me then back at the road ahead. My hand itched to reach over and grab his. We stopped at a light and I reached over grabbing his hand pulling it between the seats holding it. He looked at our hands together then at me. I smiled faintly hoping he didn't take it away. Instead he rested his hand on my leg rubbing my fingers. We parked outside the lab and got out. Grissom helped me with my case as I carried in evidence then we went back to work.

Shift ended hours later and I was tired. I walked down the hallway stopping when I had a memory pop up in my head my mother screaming at me as she was being led away by three cops.

"You horrible child! I wish you were never born!"

Shaking my head free of the memory I looked up seeing Grissom standing down the hallway looking at me.

"Sara, what's going on?" He asked

"Nothing." I said

He nodded observing me.

"Going home?" I asked

"Yes, you?"

"Yes."

He walked me outside to my car.

"Well I will see you next shift." He said

"Yeah."

"Um Sara, thank you for talking to me in the…..elevator."

"Thank you for listening."

He smiled a little touching my arm before leaving. I sighed going on my way. The next shift Grissom asked me to step away from the case we were on and help Nick since we were so shorthanded. I agreed going to the house with the police cars everywhere out front. I got out walking up the stairs going inside.

"Nick?"

He walked over with his flashlight looking at me.

"Hey, I am glad you're here."

"What do you have?"

"A husband dead on the couch. His wife was the only one inside. We found the knife in the kitchen on the floor."

I stared at him swallowing thinking of my dad and mom.

"You okay?" He asked

"Um yeah."

He nodded watching me.

"Where…do you need me?"

"Could you take the living room?"

"Sure."

I walked in getting my flashlight shining it around seeing the man on the couch dead. He laid there as if he were sleeping. I set my case down standing there looking at him. Nick came in looking for something.

"Sara, do you have the camera?" He asked, as he walked around. "Sara?"

He walked over touching my arm watching me jump.

"What?" I asked

"I asked did you see the camera?"

"No." I said, looking around.

"Your shaking." He said, looking down at my body. I looked down then I looked at him.

"I….." I started to say, and then I looked at the man on the couch feeling dizzy. Nick called my name as I fell to the floor.

Grissom and Greg drove up to the house getting out walking to the house.

"Nick?" Grissom called

Nick came over to him looking worried.

"Hey man."

"I brought you Greg where is Sara?"

"She's in her car."

Grissom looked back at the Tahoe in across the street.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at Nick.

"It was really weird. I asked her to work in the living room where the body was and she just started shaking and passed out."

"Why?" Greg said

"She said something about her dad."

Grissom looked at him knowing what he meant.

"Okay, Greg help Nick and I will check on Sara."

They both nodded as Grissom walked over to the dark vehicle parked. He opened the passenger side door seeing me wrapped in a blanket looking down.

"Sara?" He called, touching my cold hand in my lap. I didn't hear him as he came closer calling my name again.

I blinked moving my head seeing him.

"Gris?"

"It's me; Nick called and said you were feeling sick."

"My dad was in there." I said

"Honey, that man was not your dad."

"Yes it was…..he was lying on the couch just like…."

"Sara, I am going to take you back to the lab."

I slowly nodded. He went and talked to Greg giving him the keys to the other car then he got into my car driving it. He took me to back to his office sitting beside me on the couch. I clutched the blankets closer to my shivering body as Grissom looked at me.

"Do you feel better?" He asked

I shook my head.

"Sara, you need to work out these issues you are having."

"I keep seeing him there." I said

"I will make some tea for you." He said, getting up.

"No, please don't leave me!" I said

He sat back down looking at my large pleading eyes. He moved closer putting his arms around me holding me close.

"I am not leaving you." He said

"Promise me."

"I promise."

I sighed closing my eyes smelling his wonderful scent. He smoothed my hair looking at his shelves of evidence jars. He slowly laid me down on the couch as I slept. I moved to my side as he got up looking down at me before going to his desk. He sat there looking over at where I lay thinking. A knock at the door made him jump. The door opened and Catherine came in seeing me on the couch before looking at him.

"I heard what happened." She said

"I don't know what to do." He said, looking over at me.

"The question is are you prepared to involve yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you willing to open up and help her?"

He didn't answer as he looked back over at me.

"Gil, I have a new CSI to meet you. Her name is Sophia Curtis and she came from the police."

"I never met her."

"She's outside."

"Okay." He said, getting up walking with her to the door. Coming out he stopped seeing Sophia Curtis standing outside waiting. She lifted her blue eyes at him and he was lost in them.

"Sophia this is Grissom."

"Hi." She said

"How do you do?" He said, taking her hand.

"Fine thanks."

"Well I think my work here is done." Catherine said, leaving them.

Grissom looked at Sophia as she looked at him.

I moved waking seeing that I was alone in the room. I got up leaving walking down the hallway stopping as I saw Grissom in the lab working alongside a blonde woman. He stood very close to her and she was laughing at something he was saying. I walked over seeing him look over at me.

"Oh Sara, are you all right?"

I nodded looking at Sophia.

"This is Sophia Curtis, our new CSI." Grissom said

"Nice to meet you." She said

I stared at her before coming forwards.

"You to."

She nodded. I looked over at Grissom who nervously looked us.

"Sara, why don't you go home and rest."

"Okay."

I walked out glancing in at them again before leaving. The weeks went by and as Grissom and I mellowed out he and Sophia heated up. Every time I saw them I wanted to be sick and I was able to avoid them until one shift a month later I found them together in his office whispering and smiling at each other. Grissom looked over seeing me walking away quickly down the hallway. I went to the locker room sitting on a bench looking down. The door opened as I closed my eyes.

"Sara?" Grissom called

I opened my eyes looking over at him.

"I…just came in." I said, standing.

"Did you sleep?" He asked, walking over.

"Not very much."

He observed me as I moved around ready to leave.

"Do you want me to help someone with a case?"

"No, I want you to help me."

"I thought Sophia was helping you."

"She is, but I also need you."

He walked out waiting for me as I followed. The three of us worked in the lab looking at evidence.

"Gil, look at this." She said, showing him a photo. I looked up at that. He took the picture looking at it as she leaned over touching her chin with his shoulder. I wanted to throw up.

"Hmm, looks like a letter C carved into the nightstand. Good eye." He said, smiling at her as he handed her back the photo. I stood touching my stomach.

"Grissom, I am not feeling good." I said

"What's wrong?" He asked

"I…feel sick." I said

"Take a break."

I nodded leaving going to the parking lot breathing in and out fast. I held my hand over my mouth feeling a sob come out. I ran to the side of the building falling to my hands and knees breathing hard. I gagged but nothing came out as I hadn't eaten in twenty four hours.

Grissom came running out looking around he walked over to the side seeing me trying to breathe on the ground.

"Sara?" He said, running over kneeling down touching my back as he leaned down trying to see my face. "Sara, breathe!"

I felt it get worse as he rubbed my back.

"Come on Sara. Honey you need to breathe for me!"

He moved to knell down in front of me coaxing me to breathe. After a few minutes my breathing became less hitched and more relaxed. He laid me down on the ground with my head in his lap.

"Just relax." He said

I nodded closing my eyes. Catherine came over seeing us.

"Sara you okay?" She asked, kneeling down taking my hand.

"She will be." Grissom said "I had a feeling she would come out here when I could not find her inside.

"What caused this?"

"I don't know." He said

"I can drive her home."

Grissom moved a stray hair from my sweaty head as I rested. Catherine took me home walking in with me. I laid down hearing her say something, but I never answered. When I woke I could hear the TV on out in the living room. I got up walking out smelling food. Grissom walked over to the couch seeing me.

"Hey." He said

"How did you get in here?"

"You gave me a key in case of an emergency last year." He said, walking over to me.

"Where is Sophia?"

"I don't know. I brought you food."

He walked to the kitchen as I followed.

"I got you a big salad." He said, showing me it in a container.

We ate then he led me to the couch sitting down next to me putting the volume down.

"Now we can talk." He said

"What about?"

"To begin with let's talk about the panic attack you had." He said, looking at me.

"I'm fine." I said

"Sara, you are not fine."

I looked down as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"Talk to me."

"I saw you and Sophia becoming cozy and it just got to me."

"You think I like her?"

"I do." I said, looking at him.

"Sara, I may have been attracted to her at the beginning, but there is nothing there."

I felt a tear go down my cheek.

"I should not care if you like other women, but it just makes me wonder what is wrong with me?"

He pulled me against him.

"There is nothing wrong with you. I do like you."

I sniffed as he rubbed my arm.

"You and I are more alike than anyone I have known. We both think alike, and we both see the same things when working. If I don't see something I know you will."

I made him let me go so I could stand.

"Grissom it's not about work! I want to know if you have any romantic feelings for me. Yes, we shared one kiss and held hands before, but that is not enough." I said "I want more."

He stood coming over to me.

"I just want to hear I love you."

He pulled me to him in a hug.

"I do love you." He said "You know I do, it's just hard for me to show it. When you took my hand in the car I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I needed to take some time to get used to this."

He moved back looking at me.

"Sara, I don't want to lose you. I need you at work and out of work, but I want to take it slow. This may not be what you want."

"No, I do." I said, wiping my eyes.

"Okay."

"What do we do now?" I asked

"I should go home and you need to rest." He said

"When will I see you?"

"At work." He said

I nodded opening the door for him. He leaned over kissing my head then he walked out. I leaned my head against the door closing my eyes.

Sophia walked down the hallway seeing me at the front desk coming in.

"Your late." She said "Don't let the boss see you."

I glared at her as she passed by to go down the hallway. Grissom was coming out as I was coming in. He stood back looking me up and down.

"Your late." He said

"Sorry."

"Why were you late?"

"I slept over." I said

He nodded.

"I want you to work with Greg. He's still at the scene on Bradsberry Street."

"You got it." I said, going.

"Sara!" He called

I turned looking at him.

"Don't be late again."

I nodded leaving. He sighed looking at me.

Greg was looking up at a tree outside at the back yard of the house he was working on. I walked over looking up as well.

"Why are we looking at a tree?" I asked

"I want to check out the tree house, but heights get to me."

"You want me to go?" I asked

"Yes." He said, smiling.

"This is not in my job description." I said, dropping my case putting my maglite between my teeth as I grabbed hold of the ladder going up.

"It is tonight." Greg said, shining his lite on me.

I mumbled something as I kept climbing. The top seemed just in reach as I climbed up farther I grabbed the top heaving myself up then I looked around the small tree house.

"See anything?" He asked

"Maybe." I said, going inside. I looked under the small couch seeing a rifle hidden underneath. "I have a gun!"

I slapped some gloves on reaching in taking the gun out.

"It's been fired!"

"That could be my murder weapon!" He called

I set it down moving around looking at the things in the house. Crawling over I saw a box with a painted heart on top. Opening it I saw little bags of cocaine.

"Greg, I found cocaine!"

I jumped as thunder clapped loudly. Greg watched me come out holding the gun and the box. I leaned over holding the gun down to a cop who was climbing to take it wearing gloves. Then I handed down the box putting the maglite in my mouth I started down. Another thunder clap cracked loudly as I jumped slipping falling to the ground. Greg knelt down to me shining his light in my face.

"Greg, please stop shining that in my face!" I said

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I said, letting him help me get up. I looked up from where I fell rubbing my back. I came back walking stiffly as we got the evidence in. A few hours later Grissom saw me in the break room drinking coffee by the counter rubbing my back.

"Taking a break?" He asked

"A short one."

He glanced at me as I continued to rub my back. He drank some coffee from his cup.

"What's wrong with your back?"

"I fell from a ladder at the crime scene and my back is hurting."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No."

"Come to my office after shift." He said, walking out.

Exhausted, I made me way to his office after I clocked out. Grissom was doing something at his desk then he stood up seeing me.

"Shut the door." He said

I shut it looking at him.

"Couch." He said

"What are you going to do?" I asked, walking over to the couch.

"You will see." He said, coming over, "Lay on your stomach."

I slowly laid down nervous. He sat over me making me look over my shoulder at him.

"Grissom?"

"Head down." He said

I sighed laying my head down.

"Sara, do I have your permission to look at your back?"

"Yes." I said

He lifted my shirt up a little.

"You have a bruise coming in."

I said nothing as he placed his hands on my back rubbing it.

"Wow that feels good." I said

"I learned how to do this in college." He said

"Did you practice on girls?"

"As a matter a fact yes."

I chuckled as he touched a tender spot.

"Owe!" I said

"Your very tense."

"I know." I said

I closed my eyes as his fingers worked there magic on my skin.

"Do you want to go to a diner after this?"

"Right now I can't think." I said

He smiled hitting another spot. He finished a few minutes later and I was a puddle of jelly. Dragging me to stand he took me to dinner then home. I looked up at my apartment building then at him.

"This was fun." I said

"Yes."

He watched me open the door before catching my hand. I looked at him as he leaned over catching my mouth with his. Until this point I had never been kissed with such feeling in my life. His mouth was soft against mine moving at a steady rhythm. He moved back looking at me with my eyes still closed. I opened them looking into his.

"Thank you for coming with me."

That was my hint to leave. Even though I wanted his mouth on mine again I knew it was best to go. He drove off as I went to the elevator lost in the feeling of his lips on mine.

The next few weeks we were so busy the idea of a relationship was the last thing on our minds. Grissom drove Sophia and I to a crime scene out of town. As Sophia talked about work with him in the front seat I dozed off in the back. Grissom stopped at a light looking back at me a second then he face the front.

"Sara's sleeping." He said

"Does she ever sleep?"

"Not really." He said, driving again.

"Nick told me she had a relationship with this EMT guy but it didn't work out."

"He was seeing someone else."

"Ouch." She said

"She didn't take it well at the time." He said, as he watched the road.

"What does she do for fun?"

"Ah, listen to the police scanner and read science journals."

Sophia chuckled looking out the window.

"She can't think that is fun!"

"She likes to do those things."

"Well maybe she needs to live a little." Sophia said

Grissom stayed quiet as Sophia looked outside at the passing buildings. I woke as Sophia shut the door loudly. Grissom turned looking at me.

"Time for work." He said

I got out still dazed from sleep. Grissom handed me my case and then walked with me to the house. I took the kitchen as we started to work. Grissom worked upstairs and Sophia did the rest. I was fiddling with something in the kitchen sink. Grissom came in seeing my hand in the inner part of the drain trying to get something out.

"What do you got?" He asked

"I don't know." I said, pulling. I pulled out the clog which was a ball of hair and a small kitchen knife.

"Bag it and the hair." He said, leaving.

Grissom took us to a hotel after since Las Vegas was four hours away. Sophia asked me out for a drink while Grissom stayed in his room going over the case. I reluctantly went with her. Two hours later Grissom woke hearing pounding on his door. He got up walking over to the door opening it seeing a very intoxicated me.

"Hello?" He said

"Hello." I said, smiling as I leaned forward.

"I see you had a good time."

I nodded giggling.

He smiled amused at seeing me giggling.

"I am…so happy." I said

"I think you should go sleep it off."

"No, no, no, we have some unfinished business." I said, stumbling in to his room. He closed the door facing me.

"What business is that?"

"I want you and I to kiss." I said, walking over to him.

"You need to go to bed."

"Not until I get a kiss." I said, closing my eyes waiting. He leaned down moving my head kissing my cheek. I opened my eyes watching him open his door and pick me up taking me out to my room. He put me down at my door getting my key then he opened the door pushing me inside.

"Go to bed." He said

He shut the door sighing as he walked away. It was very early that Grissom came back to my door knocking. I moved slowly feeling my head exploding as he knocked. The door opened and he saw me. My hair was everywhere and my face was white.

"Time to go." He said

"Mmmm." I moaned, closing my door.

Sophia recovered from our night as I sat at the table at the diner looking down at the cup of coffee. Grissom looked at me as he drank his across from Sophia.

"You two must have shut the bar down." He said

"I think we did." Sophia said "It's hard to remember."

The food came and as they ate I just stared at my eggs.

"Sara, you should eat." Grissom said

I groaned pushing the plate away as I held my head. He sighed looking at me. We got into the Tahoe and I laid against the window letting the coolness of the glass touch my head.

Half an hour later I woke sitting up looking down.

"Gris?" I said

"Yeah?" He said, glancing back at me as he drove.

"Pull over."

He pulled over watching me get out throwing up in some grass. Sophia watched Grissom get out coming around to where I was.

She watched him rub my back talking to me. I stood wiping my mouth nodding as he asked me something. He walked me back to the vehicle and opened the door for me. I slid in sighing as I leaned back. Grissom got in looking back at me before starting the motor driving onto the road. He pulled over again as I threw up more. Sophia shook her head as I got back in and we were off. He parked outside the lab watching Sophia jump out going to the back to get the evidence. Grissom turned in his seat looking over at me sleeping against the door snoring gently. He reached over touching my leg.

I stayed asleep not hearing him call me. He sighed getting out coming over to my door. He gently opened it seeing me move looking around then at him.

"I have aspirin in my office." He said

I got out leaning against the car as he closed the door. He touched my head looking at me with concern.

"I suppose this will teach you not to drink."

I nodded slowly walking past him to the building. I was just going to go home, but Grissom had other ideas. He drove me to his home handing me a drink before going to work on something to eat. I walked around his home looking at pictures, book and his collection of butterflies in a frame by his desk. He came out seeing me staring at the framed butterflies.

"Did you catch all of these?" I asked

"Yes." He said, coming to stand right up behind me looking at them. I turned looking at him.

"I like your house."

"Thank you."

I watched him search my face making me nervous.

"I was never good at catching butterflies."

"Really?"

"No, I tried but they would fly away."

"Hmm." He said

I watched his eyes go to my lips then lean in kissing me. I kissed him feeling his hand take my glass from my hand laying it on his desk behind me. His arms pulled me closer. He moved back looking at me.

"I…I never caught any lightening bugs either." I said

He smiled nodding.

"Your trembling." He said

"I'm nervous." I said

"Don't be."

He kissed me again before letting me go to walk back to the kitchen. I took a breath watching him go kicking myself for feeling nervous around him. He watched me eat slowly at his dining room table. I yawned covering my mouth.

"Sorry." I said

"I have a spare room you can sleep in."

"Oh, no I'll just go home."

"Sara, I would rest easier knowing you were here."

I looked at him seeing he was concerned.

"Okay."

Later he opened the door to the room I was in to check on me. He looked in seeing me sleeping with the blankets tangled around my body. Quietly he moved to the bed trying to undo the blankets. I moved stilling as he managed to get them free to cover me better. He stood up looking at me slowly reaching over touching my head before leaving.

Grissom dressed in his work clothes saw me coming down the stairs walking like a zombie in my clothes.

"I have coffee." He said

I moaned getting a cup leaning on against the island drinking it slowly.

"I will drop you off at your place to change then take you to work."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." He said

He walked out as I sipped the hot coffee. He came in my apartment with me as I ran to change. I came out seeing him looking at a picture of my parents and I at a fair. He turned looking at me as I walked over looking at it.

"The last picture before my dad died." I said

"You look happy."

"Yeah, for the last time." I said, walking past. He set the picture down following me. We went to work on the case. Grissom had to go with Brass as Sophia and I went to the morgue. Doctor Robbins went over the facts about the body at the house then we went back to work.

Grissom came back seeing Sophia alone in the lab.

"I got the results." She announced, handing him the paper. He read them looking at her.

"Good, where is Sara?"

"She had a phone call."

Grissom went in search of me. He saw me in the conference room walking around as I talked on the phone. As he came in I hung up.

I walked over putting my phone away looking at him.

"Something wrong?"

"No."

"Sara, what is it?" He asked, touching my arm.

"There is nothing wrong. Just leave me alone!" I said, running out the door. I came back to the lab knowing that Grissom was coming. Sophia watched me come in quietly walking over to a bloodied shirt spread out on the table. She watched me put some gloves on and work. Grissom walked in looking at me before he walked over to Sophia.

"Take a break." He said

She nodded walking out closing the door. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Sara, I want to know what is wrong."

I looked at him.

"It does not concern you."

"You concern me."

I chewed on my lip.

"Fine, my mother has died."

He sighed looking at me.

"I am sorry."

"It's all right; I really didn't like her anyway."

"She is still your mother, Sara."

I looked down at the shirt.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

"Do you want time off?"

"No, I am not wasting time on her. My brother told me he would take care of it."

He watched me lean over the table and sigh.

"If I let it in I will shut down. I can't let myself do that."

He watched me as I got back to work. I came home walking over to the picture that Grissom was looking at earlier seeing the happy family that I craved so much growing up. I threw it on the floor hearing the glass break then I grabbed a beer walking to the living room.

I buried myself into work avoiding Grissom and everyone else. A storm hit town and my car broke down after shift on the road. I sighed getting out feeling the thick drops of rain saturate my clothes. Thunder clapped as I looked around weighing my options. Locking my car up I walked down the sidewalk trying to map out a plan. A car honking stopped me and I saw Grissom pulling over lowering his window motioning me over. I walked over dripping by now.

"You okay?" He asked

"My car broke down."

"I'll take you home."

I slowly walked over opening the passenger side door getting in. Grissom turned on the heat looking at me dripping looking down.

"Thank's." I said, coughing a little.

He nodded driving away. We arrived at his place and once inside he got a large towel putting it over me rubbing my arms.

"You need to get out of those clothes."

"I don't have anything to wear."

"I'll get you something."

I walked to the stairs going to the spare room bathroom to shower when I came out I saw a gray sweat shirt and matching bottoms with thick socks. I came out looking down at the large fitting clothes I had on only to look up seeing Grissom smiling at me as he placed a container of Chinese takeout on the coffee table.

"There to big." I said

"You look beautiful." He said

I smiled playing with the sleeves. We ate then we watched a movie on the TV. He looked at me sitting at the end of the couch watching then I looked at him.

"Sara you can come over here."

I looked at the spot next to him then I slowly moved over feeling his arm over my shoulder. I leaned up against him relaxing.

"Grissom, I am sorry I have been avoiding you." I said

"I missed you." He said

I reached over touching his arm wrapped around my chest.

"I knew you were upset about your mom and needed some time."

"I was angry."

"I understand." He said, before kissing my head. He moved his arm as I moved to face him.

"Grissom, I do love you, but there are so many things I have not gotten over. Issues that I don't know if I will ever work through."

He touched my hair.

"Are you saying you want to take a break?"

"I don't know what I am saying. I just need to know that you will accept me for who I am."

"I do accept you and I know it's not easy. I want to be there for you because I love you."

I moved putting my head on his chest.

"Just don't shut me out, Sara. I will be here to help with whatever you need." He said

He pulled me closer to him as he laid his head on mine. I listened to his heartbeat feeling its steady tempo loll me to sleep.


End file.
